


It's A Curse

by ChexNix



Category: Mao Mao: Heroes of Pure Heart (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Death, Depression, Gen, Immortality, M/M, Memory Loss, curse, idk what else to tag this tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:15:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25230742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChexNix/pseuds/ChexNix
Summary: When Badgerclops own memory fails him he isn't sure of reality anymore.
Relationships: Badgerclops/Mao Mao Mao
Comments: 6
Kudos: 50





	It's A Curse

**Author's Note:**

> BIG TW there's death in this, something like depression, this whole fic is just heavy over all since it's angst please be careful. Also Adorabat is blinded btw it's not mentioned but she can't see jdskjef she's also at school for most of the fic so

Badgerclops woke, no memory in his mind of late events other than the brutal deaths of his partner. He sighed, used to waking up with the same mentality. Thankfully there wasn't a new memory of death but he's not sure how long it's been, how many days it's been. The only things he has to go on are how recent the death memories are and feel, a calendar, and his friends. The badger climbed down from the top bunk, which he thought was how it's always been, and stretched. His body was sore and could only assume it was from fighting some kind of danger to their home. He has to be reminded of his new life every morning, it's become routine for his partner to catch him up on important things. He doesn't know that though.

Walking out of the room he sees Mao Mao, who's already been awake much longer than him. 

"Did I sleep too late?"

"It was intentional, you had a rough day yesterday, after all." Mao Mao kicked his legs up on the table in front of their couch.

Badgerclops tried to push his mind to remember anything from yesterday, searching hard through the death memories only to find nothing. He's not even sure anything that Mao Mao says happens is real anymore. Rubbing his temples he made his way to the kitchen for lunch, it was noon.

Mao Mao frowned watching his partner enter the kitchen. They had battled multiple monsters and the Sky Pirates yesterday which was physically hard on them so he'd let his friend sleep in. He may have forgotten all their conversations yesterday but he hasn't had any of those 'nightmares' in a few days thankfully. Mao Mao's attention turned back to the TV, it wasn't that interesting. Getting up he joined his friend in the kitchen.

Badgerclops was eating a stacked sandwich, full of his favorite meats and cheeses. Such a small thing but it brought him joy in a life like this. Mao Mao joined him at the table to catch him up on everything that's happened so far, 8 months into living in Pure Heart Valley. They'd come here and got stuck after breaking the Ruby Pure Heart, they have a little deputy named Adorabat who's blind who doesn't know anything about Badgerclops' cursed memories.

"Do you remember why my memory is the way it is?" Badgerclops asked, mouth full.

"We ran into some magical being who put a curse on us a bit after we met. I'm not really sure what my curse is though. Maybe it's falling asleep? There're mornings I wake up and don't really remember the rest of the day and I'm assuming it's because I've slept. Sometimes my clothes are ripped up and missing but I'm not sure what that means."

Suddenly the death memories flash in Badgerclops mind, he's lost his appetite. 

"Who knows." Badgerclops shoves the plate away from himself.

"Not hungry anymore?"

"Nah. You know, it's messed up I can't remember everything but I'm glad I remember you." 

Mao Mao smiles, a bit sadly, "Me too, don't know what I'd do if one morning you woke up and didn't remember who I was."

"Like, could you imagine?" Badgerclops rubbed his temples again, he had a smile but it was a nervous one.

Their curses were already bad enough. He's got all the memories of Mao Mao's deaths since they've been cursed and nothing else so they're still fresh in his mind like they've only been happening everyday for a couple months, for comparison. But in reality, like Mao Mao said, it's been years. The poor guy doesn't even know his own curse, immortality but consistent death. Badgerclops frowned, he wished it wasn't consistent. He'd rather go days without remembering anything than having memories and them being of his partners deaths. The badger isn’t sure if he’s already been doing this, since no thoughts or ideas can be remembered either, but he’s going to be protective over Mao Mao. The little he dies, the better. Almost on cue the monster alarm rang, the duo rushed down to the garage and took off on the aerocycle. The location was town square, a usual place for monster attacks. At first glance this monster didn’t seem too bad, just a typical beast, but the closer they got the more they saw. This monster has razor sharp teeth, rows of it. Big, sharp claws on arms that looked like they could really put a dent into the Ruby Pure heart. It’s not anything the duo couldn’t handle. Probably, Badgerclops has no idea how their battle skills have improved over the years, he’ll have to get someone to film them one day.

“Alright, I’ll take care of this guy. You do crowd control.” Mao Mao ordered, unsheathing Geraldine.

Badgerclops charged up his blaster, “Hahaaa, no. I’ll help you.”

“But-!! _Someone_ has to do it, look at them!” Mao Mao motioned towards Sweetie Pies who were just running in circles. “I can handle this-”

“ **No.** I’m helping, that wasn’t an option.”

Blasting the monster he got its attention away from the panicking Sweetie Pies, it now glared at our duo of heroes. Mao Mao didn’t wait for the beast to make the first move and began running towards it. This fight wasn’t longer than any other fight but it sure wasn’t short. The two heroes working and battling for their lives and each other, the kingdom and its villagers, finally succeeded. Badgerclops and Mao Mao were left nearly breathless after the battle but bumped fists, proud of their teamwork. It seems, with the first monster of the day so far, Badgerclops’ plan is running smoothly. There wasn’t a moment he was afraid for Mao Mao’s life. 

"What a great start to today! How about we fill the rest of the morning with a little public service?" Suggested the feline who was stretching his muscles.

"Why not, probably nothing but the usual."

Mao Mao pulled a notepad from his belt, looking through the pages until he found the list of duties that were mandatory for today. A few were safe like searching for potholes and filling them, finding broken public property and fixing it, things like that. But another half sounded a bit iffy. Search Slim for anything illegal, search construction sites for damage or tampering, etcetera. Badgerclops asked if they could possibly push the potentially dangerous ones a few days back but was met with a rant.

Mao Mao sighed, "No, Badgerclops, we have to get these done today, alright? They're mandatory."

"Okay, but we should be extra careful? Like just in case? There's no telling what Slim is hiding."

After fixing up small potholes and fixing up a few fences the duo moved on to the 'heavy lifting' of the day. Before entering the construction site Badgerclops made sure both of them wore helmets. He placed a second one on top of Mao Mao's first helmet, just to be safe. Wandering around in search of tampering and damage they found none, surprisingly. A few pieces of graffiti but nothing of potential danger. Badgerclops sighed with relief, motioning to the exit. The badger, following Mao Mao, noticed something was falling from the top of the building, he snatched Mao Mao back and held him close. 

**_CLANG!_ **

An anvil. This was some serious cartoon stuff, how did that even fall? Where did it come from?? Badgerclops opened his eye and squinted at the top of the building, it didn't look like anyone was up there but as protectors of this town they needed to check. Mao Mao was half ready to scale the building but Badgerclops pushed him from the construction site.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING??"

"I'm not letting you do something stupid, just stay out there while I check. Okay?" Badgerclops waited for an answer. " **Okay?** "

Mao Mao growled, " _Fine_."

Using his robo arm Badgerclops lifted himself to the top of the building, it was still under construction so it wasn't as sturdy as he'd like it to be but he'll be fine. His robo arm comes with all kinds of safety options. Looking around the badger didn't see anyone, he searched the sides of the building for any possible convicts who may be struggling to get down from such a height.

  
  


"Man, I don't see anyone."

"WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU??" Mao Mao called from below.

"I SAID I DON'T SEE-"

Slim was in his car, headed straight for Mao Mao. He looked distracted so he was obviously going to hit him. “DUDE, MOVE!!”

Mao Mao still couldn’t really hear him, wonder why, oh yeah probably because there’s a huge vehicle speeding towards him. Badgerclops jumped off the building, instincts kicking in.

“Wh- WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW??” Mao Mao gripped his head.

"RUN OR SOMETHING JUST MOVE!!!" 

Mao Mao was usually quick to react but he was so concerned about Badgerclops he wasn't looking to his left to see Slim. Badgerclops switched his arm to some sort of propellant in order to beat the car to his best friend. In the blink of an eye he had Mao Mao in his grasp, the two of them racing through town. Slowing down Badgerclops came to a steady glide, headed towards the aerocycle. He set his friend down and caught his breath, seems he'd been holding it. Mao Mao was still in shock for a bit it seems.

"What… wHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR??" He began a new lecture. "YOU CAN'T JUST JUMP OFF BUILDINGS LIKE THAT!"

Badgerclops frowned, "You were going to get **_hit_ **. By. A. CAR!"

"I could've moved!"

"Oh?? Then WHY were you just standing there while that wild pig dude just came right at you?? You were guaranteed to get smushed man, and I DON'T want to see that." Badgerclops started tearing up at the end of his statement, just imagining having to live with seeing that image for the rest of his life didn't help his emotional state.

"I was going to! I-"

"STOP it man. You always get into dangerous situations and I have to see the end result and LIVE WITH IT for the REST of my life. I do not want to hear it." Badgerclops turned from Mao Mao, trying to hide tears threatening to fall.

Mao Mao's tone softened, "Badgerclops… those are just dreams, remember? You have nightmares along side your memory loss."

"I'm so not in the mood to fight over **this** again. I know what I see, man. Just because I wake up with no memory doesn't mean you can't listen to me when I say I actually remember _something_." Badgerclops felt smaller than usual, his voice reflected it.

"But... there's no way I die? If I die I'm dead, that's it. I can't just come back to life, how silly is that?" Mao Mao laughed the idea off.

The badger clutched his arms, pulling himself into a hunched figure, getting told his reality is silly when he KNOWS it's a reality by the person he cares for and is affected by it is… painful.

"I need to go."

"What? Where are you going?? We still have some stuff to do!" Mao Mao became agitated again.

Badgerclops didn't respond, he just walked off into the distance, getting lost between buildings. Mao Mao couldn't see him anymore and wasn't going to chase him down when he had important things to do. Once at a small lake area Badgerclops sat by the edge and looked at himself in the water's reflection. He had bags under his eyes, he looked as tired as he felt. His thoughts made their way to Mao Mao.

"I'm away and he might die… but he always comes back. At least I don't have to see it, I guess." Badgerclops drew Mao Mao in the dirt beside him. "I'd prefer him not to die but… it's not my fault we're cursed." 

He drew a smile on the dirt Mao, it made him realise how much he missed seeing his partner genuinely happy. Old, fuzzy, memories from before they were cursed resurfaced. When they'd first met the smaller hero seemed so angry and upset at the world and everyone in it. He still seemed that way today but it was different. Once they'd gotten closer and even started dating Mao Mao showed him a whole other mind set. He had a soft side just waiting under all that tough armor, it just takes time and trust to get to it. He remembered how they'd share a sleeping bag on extra cold nights, they'd enjoy each other's company so much it felt like a paradise.

**_"I think I'm where I'm supposed to be."_ **

**_"Yeah?"_ **

**_"Yeah. I'm glad I found you in those rocks."_ **

Badgerclops groaned as tears poured like a waterfall, "Can I NOT make myself cry right now??"

An alert on his robot arm went off, the ‘Sky Pirates’ were attacking and Mao Mao was the only one who was there. He's out numbered. He can't remember Mao Mao mentioning them today so he couldn't predict their intent, Badgerclops rushed back to the town to find a huge airship next to the Ruby Pure Heart. Mao Mao wasn't on the ground anywhere so he must be on the ship, Badgerclops shot a grappling hook from his robo arm and made his way up. Now on board he saw a group of funky looking guys and Mao Mao all fighting. The feline looked worn out and just about beat, he noticed Badgerclops.

"Badger-"

He couldn't finish asking for help before Geraldine was knocked from his hands and towards our other hero. Badgerclops picked the blade up and began running all possibilities if he threw it back. Thank you geometry, he was able to calculate a proper way to toss the blade and land the hilt right into his partners hands. The Sky Pirates were saying some dumb stuff he wasn't really listening to but were interrupted by the blade headed straight for them. They dodged, one knocked Mao Mao back and out of the spot of calculation. Badgerclops heart dropped when he realized what was about to happen but he couldn't do anything, not even move an inch before…

"Ohhh... did he just get hit by his own sword??" Orangusnake was baffled.

Mao Mao struggled to stay up, he wobbled back until he was on his knees, katana wedged into his abdomen. 

The Sky Pirates boss clutched his stomach "Oh gross! That's way too graphic, eugh."

"B.. Badgerclops?" Mao Mao finally spoke, weakened.

The taller hero was still stuck, he hadn't moved or taken a breath since hitting his partner with the blade. His knees began to shake as realization set in. 

"Mao Mao…Mao Mao, are you okay??" The badger rushed to his friend's side, "Please tell me you're okay."

The feline, who was now reclined in his partner's arms, whined. It was hard to listen to. "I don't think so. It. Doesn't feel okay." His breathing was rushed.

Badgerclops didn't care enough to hide his tears this time, he just needed Mao Mao to make it. "No, no, no, don't say that. I'll get you to the doctor and she'll fix you up."

It seemed Mao Mao wasn't really listening or was unable to answer.

"Mao Mao stay with me, okay? I'll just.. ok hold on to me. I'm flying us down to the doctor. Okay??" Badgerclops was basically begging at this point.

"I'm.. not going to make it there.. I can't feel anything but cold. I .. I love you." His voice was quiet and shaky, obviously forced. 

"I love you too but c'mon! You're strong! You can make it to the doc."

There wasn't a response back.

"Mao Mao? Stay with me, okay?"

Lack of response again, Mao Mao was definitely gone by now, he'd used the last of his energy.

"Mao Mao...? No. Okay this is really fucked up man I can't... Not this." The badger was physically shaking, he felt like he was going to vomit.

Ignoring the Sky Pirates who were, surprisingly, trying to comfort him he got onto the aerocycle with Mao Mao and left. He held his partners body close as they flew, it wasn't long until they were back at HQ, thankfully Adorabat wasn't home yet. Badgerclops pulled Geraldine from his friend's body and set him in the bottom bunk, where he'd wake the next morning for certain. What wasn't certain was if this memory counted for his curse, he really hoped not. He really really hoped not. He wouldn't be okay with that memory. 

\---

Badgerclops woke early, fresh memories made the previous day were gone and what remained were all the times he watched his partner die. Horrifically enough there was a new one. He remembered seeing the katana penetrate Mao Mao's abdomen, feeling sick to his stomach. More of the memory came back, it was him who threw the blade, he can't remember why. He remembers the last words they shared, the look on Mao Mao's face and the painful sound of his whimper. It was too much for the badger, he popped a bag from his robo arm and used it to catch his feelings. Which is a proper way to say he vomited. Mao Mao jumped up from the bottom bunk, obviously worried.

"Badgerclops??? Are you sick?"

He didn't answer, he just felt a whole new wave of guilt and pain. Mao Mao probably remembers the whole thing.

"I'm… really really sorry- I didn't mean to--"

Mao Mao hopped up beside him, he made a move to comfort Badgerclops but he just pulled back. The bigger one looked a lot worse than usual.

"Did you have another nightmare?"

"It.. wasn't a nightmare. I.. _killed you_. **_I_** killed you, Mao Mao." Badgerclops words were shakily spoken as he slowly formed his sentences, really taking in what he'd done.

"Badgerclops, please. You didn't, you would never."

"But it HAPPENED. Look at your belt! It's ripped up right where the katana hit you. I know you don't have memory loss so I KNOW you remember me throwing it at you."

Mao Mao took a moment, looking at his belt and remembering the previous day. It was only 3 AM the next day but Badgerclops usually wakes up early from nightmares anyway. Mao Mao had been battling the Sky Pirates alone since Badgerclops went somewhere for an emotional recharge, then he showed up and Geraldine got knocked from his hands. He remembers Badgerclops tossing the blade back but nothing else after that. Suddenly Adorabat began to stir awake.

"Hm? What's going on?"

Mao Mao peeked down at his little deputy, "Nothing's going on, go back to sleep, okay? You've got a big day tomorrow."

Adorabats eyebrows scrunched, "But why are you up there with Badgerclops?? Is he okay?"

"It was just another nightmare, it's okay." Mao Mao reassured the child.

Badgerclops felt his stomach churn again, he slid off the top bunk and headed for the living room. Mao Mao's expression softened and he sighed, explaining to Adorabat 'the adults need to have an adult conversation' and he'll be back, she should just go to sleep. In the living room Badgerclops sat on the sofa, he didn't look okay at all. It's not normal for him to jump up from a nightmare and be happy again but it's not normal for him to be this upset. The feline sat beside his partner, rubbing his back and hugging him.

"Look, I'm not really sure what's…. true or not but if you feel like you were the one to do it then I need you to know it wasn't your fault. You were throwing that sword back to me to defeat the Sky Pirates, you weren't throwing it at me to hurt me."

"Are you sure? I don't even know if I can trust _your_ memories. I can't trust anything anymore, man." Badgerclops hugged himself tightly.

"Well if my memory and your… 'nightmares' match up so well then maybe… you're right. I'm not sure how it's possible but I need to remember we were cursed by a very powerful being and… I'm sorry." 

"Do you mean that? Like, you actually believe me now? Because I feel like I'm losing my mind and can't even trust **myself** , dude."

"I do, I've been ignoring your idea for so long it seemed to be just that, an idea. Now .. thinking about it. It's a lot more logical then my idea. Falling asleep and having my clothes be torn up? What was I thinking? I'm so sorry for denying your truth." Mao Mao started pulling on Badgerclops hands, "But what I said is true. You would never intentionally do that. So…"

Eventually Badgerclops let up, opening his arms and hugging Mao Mao. His emotions came back up and exploded in an ocean of tears. The feline held him close, petting him as he could finally let everything out. He can't believe he's been so foolish, pushing away his partner's only sense of reality and completely denying it for so long. He can only imagine what he's going through and what he's gone through.

\---

"Thanks, guy."

"I'll see you next week, Badgerclops." Ol' Blue shut the door.

"How was everything?" Mao Mao grabbed Badgerclops hand, squeezing it.

"It was okay. It feels a lot better being able to talk to someone, thanks for hooking me up, man."

"I'm glad it's starting to help."

The two hugged, Adorabat landed on Badgerclops shoulder and nuzzled his cheek. Badgerclops had been in therapy for a month now, it was hard for him to open up in the beginning but once he started it was hard to stop. He has yet to get into the really really deep dark stuff but he'll have Mao Mao with him for that. For now he'll let himself heal slowly, maybe it'll make the hard stuff easier to talk about. Now that Mao Mao believes him about the 'immortal, constant death' curse they can handle everything a little better, it still hurts and is hard to watch someone you love die but at least he's coming back after midnight. Yes, each death still stays in his memories but again they've been trying to make it more manageable, they share sweet words Badgerclops will be able to finally remember in those moments and Badgerclops stays up until midnight to see Mao Mao again before he sleeps. 

Adorabat still doesn't know what's going on but that's for the best.


End file.
